Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
