Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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