You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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