First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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