some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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