The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
