..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
