did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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