I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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