i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
