do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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