Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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