Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
God, I missed his penis.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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