I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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