3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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