Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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