There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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