Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize