I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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