State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I believe in your delicious
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize