wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
