If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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