I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
