I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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