dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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