I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.