what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later