I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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