Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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