i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your penis caused this!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
