Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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