either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize