Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?