he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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