Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
