My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
