That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
