Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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