my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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