i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
