I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
