everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
