you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
