It's Friday. Sex?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
