Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
