He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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