I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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