It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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