How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
