My first STD was from a foam party
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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