hotel room ftw
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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