wanna go halves on a baby?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
two words...techno handjob
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
