I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
