how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
