How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
