In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize