just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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